Don't use your kids as pawns

     You may think you are getting back at your ex (or whoever the case may be) but really you are causing damage to your child, who is blameless. Whether you like it or not, your child loves that person and you are hurting them as well. I'm not talking about cases where there is abuse or neglect. In those cases, you are doing best by keeping the child away from the person who is hurting them. I am talking about those cases where one parent decides they are going to 'fix' the other by refusing them access to the child, and in some cases, they even extend this 'fixing' to include all of their ex's family. I believe that children growing up in this age need everyone who loves them. Children don't understand that you are just mad and that's why they can't see daddy or mommy. When you insult the other parent to the child, you are insulting your child, who is half that parent. Husband and I split up when our children were younger and I never tried to keep them away from him. I also did my best to not insult him to them because I knew, that regardless of how I felt, they loved him. Even worse is when you deliberately lie to the child to cover up your own pettiness. Be assured, everything always comes out in the end because even if you think no one knows, God does and God has a way of bringing all things to light. It is not fair to your children to prevent them from seeing family just because you are not grown up enough to set your own feelings to the side and think of your child. That's my two cents worth on the matter!